♫ Musical Interlude ♫

Beautiful by Mercy Me

The days will come when you don't have the strength
When all you hear is you're not worth anything
Wondering if you ever could be loved
And if they truly saw your heart they'd see too much

You're beautiful
You're beautiful
You are made so much more than all of this
You're beautiful
You're beautiful
You are treasured, You are sacred, You are His
You're beautiful

I'm praying that you have the heart to find
Cause you are more than what is hurting you tonight
For all the lies you've held inside so long
And they are nothing in the shadow of the cross

You're beautiful
You're beautiful
You are made so much more than all of this
You're beautiful
You're beautiful
You are treasured, You are sacred, You are His
You're beautiful

Before you ever took a breath
Long before the world began
Of all the wonders He possessed
There was one more precious
Of all the earth and skies above
You're the one He madly loves
Enough to die

You're beautiful
You're beautiful
In His eyes

You're beautiful
You were meant for so much more than all of this
You're beautiful
You are treasured, You are sacred, You are His
You're beautiful
You're beautiful
You're meant for so much more than all of this
You're beautiful
You're beautiful
You are treasured, You are sacred, You are His

So, I have been hearing this song a lot lately and the truth in the words speak for themselves. God wants you. He desires you, He wants you because He loves you and because you are His child. I hope that you will never forget that. Sometimes it is so easy to get caught up in this life and this world's lies about who you are. You are God's child.

At a graduation I attended recently one of the speakers said it plainly,

"Never forget who you are, and never forget whose you are."

Never lose sight of who you know yourself to be, who God has made you to be. Never forget that you are God's.

Isaiah 43:1 "I have called you by your name, you are mine."

Promises

Hello all!
      I am happy to be writing again, I haven't had access to my blog for awhile because my computer has decided to exhibit a few small (yet irritatingly redundant) technical issues. In any case, I had the time and the computer and lately there has been a lot on my mind...
      Recently I have had a lot of free time and I decided to fill it with one of my loves in life: reading. I have read almost all the books on my bookshelf at least twice and I wanted something fresh. I settled on a series of books that I've read once or twice before but haven't read in probably about 2 years. It's called "The Glenbrook Series." It's made up of 8 books that are what I consider easy reads. They are Christian Romance books that follow the lives of residents in a small town (Glenbrook) in the Willamette Valley. (maybe I love the books because they are set in my Oregon home haha) Though I will be the first to admit that I am a sucker for a good love story, I often grow tired of the Christian Romance genre as a whole. Usually it is very cheesy, predictable, and you know the entire plot just from the summary on the back. What I love about this series is that (unless you've read them) you don't know who will end up with who right away, you don't know how they will get to where they are going, and the author (Robin Jones Gunn) throws in a few turns in the plot to keep the reader interested. The thing I love most about these books, though, is that the characters go through huge (not to mention applicable) spiritual journeys throughout each book. God is very prevalent in each book.
    I am now on the third book in the series and as I read it last night I started thinking about how easy it is to get caught up in the "wishing for a happily ever after" mind set. I am not the kind of person to get all starry-eyed and dreamy just from reading a "chick flick book" or daydreaming about some future life. They say that the more you read something (whether it be the Bible, a novel, or whatever) the more you are able to get out of it. Like I said earlier I'm on my third time around reading these books and I found myself relating to the main character of the third book in ways I didn't think of the first 2 times I read it. The main point of her journey was that she was feeling abandoned by those in her life that were supposed to love her most (i.e. her fiance, her father, etc). Now I am not saying that was the part I related well with, because I don't. The part I found so intriguing and so applicable was a point brought up by one of the other characters in the book.
     She said, "It seems that the thing we resent happening to us becomes the thing we end up doing to someone else unless we face the pain head on and stop the cycle of hurt." To which the main character replied "or until the hurt runs you over." The character who said the original statement goes on to talk about how the hurt doesn't have to run you over and then tells how she keeps this reminder. She keeps cards with verses on them around the house to keep her from being "run over."  The verses speak of God's faithfulness to his children:

• Hebrews 13:5 "I will never leave you nor forsake you."
• Isaiah 43:1 "I have called you by your name, you are mine."
• Psalm 27:14 "Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord."
• Psalm 115:12 "The Lord has been mindful of us; he will bless us."
• Psalm 27:10 "When my father and my mother forsake me, then the Lord will take care of me."

The point of all these cards was that whenever she felt overwhelmed she found a piece of God's word to cling to. On the back she would write what each promise meant to her, (for example on the back of the Heb. 13:5 card she wrote " God, my Heavenly Father, has promised that he will never leave me, or ignore me, or pretend I don't exist. Even if no one else loves me or cares about me, God does.")

     This concept really stuck with me... If every time I started feeling overwhelmed by life (which, to be honest, has been quite often in recent weeks) I found a piece of God's word to cling to, how much better would I be able to get through it? Not by my own strength but by His. God loves me. He desires me. He wants me to lean on Him and love Him with everything I have. I can't do that if I am distracted by whatever is stressing me out at any given time.

I want my first instinct in a stressful situation to be to revert back to God and His promises to me.

What Was I Thinking?

Lately I haven't been knowing what to write as far as blog entries, I don't know what you all would be wanting to read or interested in. So I was thinking about what I do each day that makes every day count, what in my life makes a significant difference in someone else's life? What am I doing for God? Every day I wake up at 6:30, go to class at 8:30, workout for an hour or so, then go to work, come home. Sure it mixes up when I have class monday and wednesday evenings but what else do I do? homework, yeah, but nothing special. I don't do one thing in my life that is worth talking about in regards to furthering the kingdom. I let myself get into a rut about 4 months ago and stopped caring about what others are doing or what they need. I pretty much became a self-proclaimed hermit (well ok a few others called me a hermit and told me to get a life too haha) and just stopped going out other than work and school. It is really weird for me because normally I'm a pretty social person, granted I'm not the most outgoing, (those of you who know me personally can testify to that =]) but still I used to at least hang out with people, you know? I don't know .... Do you wanna know what bothers me? Well if you don't then quit reading I guess haha because here it comes. Last Tuesday I got off work at my normal time and stopped at the light at the intersection at 2nd and Division. To my left stood a woman, clearly pregnant (I know they fake it sometimes but this woman was the real deal as far as being pregnant, trust me) I would guess she was either in her 3rd trimester already or almost there, that's how big she was, and she held a small cardboard sign that simply said, "cold. hungry. pregnant. please help my baby and me. anything helps. God bless." I'm going to be honest with you, I am guilty of ignoring these signs usually. To my shame I have never once helped a single person holding one of those signs. That Tuesday I will never forget, I looked at my wallet - I had a 5 dollar bill in it at the time - and looked at her and pulled through when the light was green. I thought about her as I turned the corner and almost went back several times to pull through a fast food restaurant and giver her some food. Instead I turned on to the freeway on ramp and drove home, thinking about her and kicking myself the entire way. I will probably never see that woman again. I missed my chance and it has bothered me since then. Why am I so selfish? yes I have financial needs but who raised me to be selfish with my money? Not my mother that's for darn sure. She taught me better than that. I don't know what happened to her, She hasn't been back on that corner since that day that I have seen, but several other people have. I don't know when society started making it the norm to ignore the needs of other human beings but you want to know something? that woman made me realize that to ignore them is just sickening and chances are I won't soon forget her or that fact. I'm going to challenge myself next time I see someone like that who is truly in need - not one of those people who peddle for money as a side job - I am going to help them, despite any financial concerns that I may have at the time. Who knows? maybe God will use it to plant a seed. I don't want to be a hermit sitting at home thinking about myself any longer. That pathetic period of time is over and done. I want to better myself as a human being and help another one of God's creations. God tells me to so why not? (Isaiah 58:7, Leviticus 25:35-36, Matthew 25:34-40.... just to name a few) anyways, I don't know what else to say about anything right now... I'm done thinking for tonight... I hope that what I said makes some impact on you at least. 

Love Letter

Dear World,
"MY LOVE is over. It's underneath./It's inside. It's in between./The times you doubt Me, when you can't feel./The times that you question, 'Is this for real?'/The times you're broken.The times that you mend./The times that you hate Me, and the times that you bend./Well, My love is over, it's underneath./It's inside, it's in between./These times you're healing, and when your heart breaks./The times that you feel like you're falling from grace./The times you're hurting.The times that you heal./The times you go hungry, and are tempted to steal./The times of confusion, in chaos and pain./I'm there in your sorrow, under the weight of your shame./I'm there through your heartache.I'm there in the storm./My love I will keep you, by My pow'r alone./I don't care where you fall, where you have been./I'll never forsake you, My love never ends./It never ends."
Love Always,
Jesus <3

***lyrics from the song "Times" by Tenth Avenue North
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XAVHeVDML5k

♫ Musical Interlude ♫

          I love Christmas. The feel of the season, the family time, the tradition. I especially love the music of this time of year. Christmas music always seems to uplift people and get them in the spirit of Christmas. (I realize that the start of this entry has sounded a little cliche', but just go with me on this =]) Maybe it's because we've all grown up listening to the same music during the holiday season, maybe it's something else I don't know. I do know that unless you are Ebenezer Scrooge Christmas music usually brings a smile to a person's face.
           I have always been the kind of person to start listening to Christmas music as early as possible - what can I say? I was in choir for the last 3 years in school, you get into the habit of starting Christmas music in like October haha ;o) - and I have my favorites.
           This year has felt a little different for me.  It didn't really feel like the Christmas season until yesterday which - as you know - was Christmas Eve.  I'm not really sure why. I think it might have to do with the fact that at my house we didn't decorate much for Christmas. My roommate and I put a string of lights up over a doorway and in the front window but other than that not much to let you know Christmas was coming.  Growing up there were always decorations and lights up everywhere. Now am I saying you need the decorations for Christmas? "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" has taught us all that you don't need any, Christmas will still come... In any case I have babbled my way onto a rabbit trail.  Back to the main point: Music this season.  One traditional hymn keeps catching my attention this year. "I heard the Bells on Christmas Day."
I've of course heard it before but I had never really listened to or read the lyrics:

I heard the bells on Christmas day

Their old familiar carols play,

And wild and sweet the words repeat

Of peace on earth, good will to men.

And thought how, as the day had come,

The belfries of all Christendom

Had rolled along the unbroken song

Of peace on earth, good will to men.

Till ringing, singing on its way

The world revolved from night to day,

A voice, a chime, a chant sublime

Of peace on earth, good will to men.

Then from each black, accursed mouth

The cannon thundered in the South,

And with the sound the carols drowned

Of peace on earth, good will to men.

It was as if an earthquake rent

The hearth-stones of a continent,

And made forlorn, the households born

Of peace on earth, good will to men.

And in despair I bowed my head

“There is no peace on earth,” I said,

“For hate is strong and mocks the song

Of peace on earth, good will to men.”

Then pealed the bells more loud and deep:

“God is not dead, nor doth He sleep;

The wrong shall fail, the right prevail

With peace on earth, good will to men.”

           I really loved the promise in the words and the meaning and thought behind each verse. The song really tells a story of the author's faith. Starting out with such great faith, hitting an obstacle and stumbling a little, growing to despair and then finally realizing there is hope in God, that God is alive and well, watching us and guiding us.  I wanted to share a version of this song that a friend shared with me. Some of you may have heard this version, it's been on the radio - especially 104.9fm (positive life radio)- quite a bit this season. I hope you enjoy it, and I would encourage you to really think about the words in the song.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M7670CXvPX0

A Letter to Myself

Dear Me,
    How are you doing?  I think you hardly know these days.  Look, I just wanted to send you a quick reminder about something.  God knows what He is doing.  I know that it's hard to believe at times, or maybe it's just that you are stubborn and can't get past the issue of giving up control... AGAIN.... BUT IT'S TRUE!!  I (we?) have been OCDish my whole life, you know?  Just get past it now, ok?  It's hurting me to hold on to everything... You know how when groceries need to be taken into the house it seems like a hassle to carry everything into the house in more than one trip?  So you try to take everything at once so your hands hurt by the time you get into the house because there is so much strain from all the baggage you're holding onto?  Well... I think that's kind of what I've been doing. (we've been doing?)  I don't think we can do it like that anymore.  My hands are tied, they are strained from the junk you're holding onto.  I think it's time we put the groceries down and try it in more than one trip, Ash.  Something to consider...:
     “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."**

Love

Me

p.s. It's long past time, wouldn't you say?
** Matthew 11:28 (NIV)

Suck it up and Talk about it!

I have been very frustrated lately because it seems to me that people don't communicate well with each other.   They are bothered by something or upset by it and rather than talking about it like decent human beings to see if a solution might be reached they stuff it down inside and refuse to acknowledge it until it comes out in a huge ordeal. I don't really see the point in this since it only leads to complex and dramatic situations that could have very easily I am the first one to admit that in the past I have been guilty many times of the very thing I am frustrated by now, but  I would like to think I have learned from it enough to communicate openly with the people in my life and avoid the drama of it now.  I will keep this entry short, I just want to say that if something is upsetting you, follow the advice in the title.