Wednesday, February 2, 2011

What Was I Thinking?

Lately I haven't been knowing what to write as far as blog entries, I don't know what you all would be wanting to read or interested in. So I was thinking about what I do each day that makes every day count, what in my life makes a significant difference in someone else's life? What am I doing for God? Every day I wake up at 6:30, go to class at 8:30, workout for an hour or so, then go to work, come home. Sure it mixes up when I have class monday and wednesday evenings but what else do I do? homework, yeah, but nothing special. I don't do one thing in my life that is worth talking about in regards to furthering the kingdom. I let myself get into a rut about 4 months ago and stopped caring about what others are doing or what they need. I pretty much became a self-proclaimed hermit (well ok a few others called me a hermit and told me to get a life too haha) and just stopped going out other than work and school. It is really weird for me because normally I'm a pretty social person, granted I'm not the most outgoing, (those of you who know me personally can testify to that =]) but still I used to at least hang out with people, you know? I don't know .... Do you wanna know what bothers me? Well if you don't then quit reading I guess haha because here it comes. Last Tuesday I got off work at my normal time and stopped at the light at the intersection at 2nd and Division. To my left stood a woman, clearly pregnant (I know they fake it sometimes but this woman was the real deal as far as being pregnant, trust me) I would guess she was either in her 3rd trimester already or almost there, that's how big she was, and she held a small cardboard sign that simply said, "cold. hungry. pregnant. please help my baby and me. anything helps. God bless." I'm going to be honest with you, I am guilty of ignoring these signs usually. To my shame I have never once helped a single person holding one of those signs. That Tuesday I will never forget, I looked at my wallet - I had a 5 dollar bill in it at the time - and looked at her and pulled through when the light was green. I thought about her as I turned the corner and almost went back several times to pull through a fast food restaurant and giver her some food. Instead I turned on to the freeway on ramp and drove home, thinking about her and kicking myself the entire way. I will probably never see that woman again. I missed my chance and it has bothered me since then. Why am I so selfish? yes I have financial needs but who raised me to be selfish with my money? Not my mother that's for darn sure. She taught me better than that. I don't know what happened to her, She hasn't been back on that corner since that day that I have seen, but several other people have. I don't know when society started making it the norm to ignore the needs of other human beings but you want to know something? that woman made me realize that to ignore them is just sickening and chances are I won't soon forget her or that fact. I'm going to challenge myself next time I see someone like that who is truly in need - not one of those people who peddle for money as a side job - I am going to help them, despite any financial concerns that I may have at the time. Who knows? maybe God will use it to plant a seed. I don't want to be a hermit sitting at home thinking about myself any longer. That pathetic period of time is over and done. I want to better myself as a human being and help another one of God's creations. God tells me to so why not? (Isaiah 58:7, Leviticus 25:35-36, Matthew 25:34-40.... just to name a few) anyways, I don't know what else to say about anything right now... I'm done thinking for tonight... I hope that what I said makes some impact on you at least.